good morning cyberspace.
I believe it’s time I continued my blogging endeavors! First I have to go look and see where I left off.

Failure

How do you measure success. Tonight I’ve been bummed out because I feel like a failure in many facets of my life. This blows Dallas’s mind apparently he thinks I’m perfect. I guess he is supposed to say that, right.

Brownie points to dal for being a great husband.

I grew up in a home where cleanliness was key. I measure being a good wife partially by keeping a clean home. This is such a struggle for me. When taj naps, I have such little time I’d rather use it for other things. Like exercising and doing homework. And honestly sometimes just being lazy and watching an hour of TV to relax.

Taj is teething and has a little diaper rash. Ok not that be of a deal, but because of the mood I’m in that has resulted in failure like feelings.

All this negativeness was brought up because of a run in with an unpleasant person in our past. Living in a small town it’s bound to happen.

My house is quiet and everyone’s asleep. I just needed a place to vent. I talked dals ear off with my crazy over thinking.

life is hectic

Another week has come and gone. The busy you are the quick time goes. There’s never enough time in a day.

Taj has a tooth, well almost! It’s just poking through. So it’s safe to say this week has been rough.

He’s in pain, and I wish I could help more. It’s a time of trial for me as well , learning patience.

Gripe water helps him feel a little better, and baby Tylenol when he is really really sore. Poor baby.

I took my hunter safety exam, all day Saturday. All day without my boys it was awful, but I can now hunt with dal! It will be fun not to be just camera woman .

School is going alright, I’ve reached the point where it’s now not academically challenging but hard to attend class and do work. Not sure why, but its blah!

This boy is getting cuter by the minute , ladies watch out.

Ps heatless curls are getting better, well I’ve figured out how to do them better

I have this obsession with taking pictures of the setting sun. Most people find them beautiful, but there is something about sunsets I connect with. Maybe it’s the inbetweenness of them. Not quite day nor night. Or the consistency, which my life lacks.

Tonight this was my view while we watched the deer. Simply breath taking. Taj was snoring in his car seat, Dal was filming deer, and I was watching the day turn to night and reflecting on my day.

Baby taj is so mobile. Climbing and crawling. It blows my mind. My tiny helpless baby is growing and exploring the world around him. He is six months.
Time has flown by.

Honestly, my favorite thing is watching dallas and taj interact. Seeing such pure unconditional love it melts my heart.

Worked out tonight ! My boys, taj and dallas, came with me. Walked 10 mins speed four incline five. All legs today. My arms are a little sore from yesterday, but the good kinda of sore. Sprinted 2 mins at 8mph to finish then stretch.

Now I’m sitting waiting in bed, while dal skins his mountain lion. It’s night two of doing so. Yuck 👎. Last night they spent five hours doing so. Not impressed that may have resulted in a fight. We are human and disagree sometimes. We are still learning.

I’m learning that no matter what he loves me. Even when my reasons for being frustrated are silly. For that I’m grateful.

back on the bandwagon

It’s time to get serious, summer will be here sooner than I know it. And to be perfectly honestly I want to look awesome. Last summer I was rocking the baby bump. This year I have no excuses!

Today I did a 15 min warm up. A walk with an incline! Nothing to hard I wanted my heart rate to be around 129 the whole time. From what I’ve read that’s the optimal fat burning heart rate for me!

Then I did arms. Every weighted arm exercise I did I completed 2 repetitions of 12.

To finish I ran a half mile.

Taj came with me and didn’t fuss once!

Tonight I had math, got my test back. Not gonna lie I was nervous. I always feel I do well then get my tests back and realize I made dumb mistakes. Not this time!

It’s my blog so I’m allowed to brag! Nailed it I needed a confidence boost !

weekly update

I’ve been so busy with life and school writing and crafting has fallen off my to do list. I miss crafts lots. Anyone have any suggestions?

This boy is growing so fast ! He just climbs and crawls everywhere. Very few things are obstacles any more!

Yesterday dallas killed a mountain lion, with his bow!

School is kicking my butt! It’s a lot harder than expected, and apparently I am not as smart as I remember I have a lot of work to do to improve.

Saturday I’m taking my hunter safety test, that means I will be able to hunt with dallas and don’t just be the camera woman. So fingers crossed i pass!

I really knew what I wanted to be, career wise. It’s been on my mind a lot lately.

I wish…

I wish I could be more consistent with my blogging ! I wish I could be more engaging!

My husband dallas, he has such a clear goal and is making steps everyday. I wish I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grow up.

Honestly I wish someone who just tell me a career to pursue, and I’d love it. I do know how I want to feel and the kind of person I want to be. Just my career aspirations are unapparent.

I want my parents, husband and son to be so proud of me and everything I’ve accomplished.

week 2 college

Another busy week is almost over. It is crazy to me, but the busy I get the more I seem to be able to fit into my day.

This week I’ve managed to stay on top of my homework! I technically have none over the weekend; just some math test studying. Taj and i have been playing hard. Reading lots! He loves it.

He may or may not even get upset with me when the book ends. I love books. I hope he does too. Someday I hope to have a house with my own library.

Taj is learning to enjoy showers. We haven’t had tears in a while, but he is starting to enjoy it! Yay!

During nap time I made those caramel apples, they were delicious I may have eaten three… Oops.

School is, dare I say it, enjoyable. For the first time in my life I’m actually using my intelligence! It’s giving me some structure and purpose to my days. Don’t get me wrong being a mum is very meaningful, but babies lack the words to reassure me what I’m doing is right. Writing a good paper or getting a math problem right is immediate gratification.

A year of long hair has come to a close! And he looks just as handsome without his hair.

Looking forward to the weekend and some relaxing. Maybe a gossip girl marathon !

hunting

So last weekend, I was HATING on hunting. I don’t really like it that much more this weekend, but I am grateful I was apart of the memory making.

Thursday night we drove through a blizzard. This snow storm turned a four hour drive into a nine hour drive. Taj was perfect he slept almost the whole time.

After arriving at 3am, we got up at 6am. Yes, I am aware it was only three hours of sleep. That’s not even the craziest part. We lost sleep, almost died in a blizzard why you ask? Well to go chase mountain lions of course. All day we were following tracks and the hounds.

Taj got to hang out with Dylan’s family. Of course he was all cute and giggly.

It was a long day of hiking. The dogs got a lion treed but we didn’t get there fast enough.

Adventures and memories are what i love and what I feel helps us bond as a family. Not getting a lion may make the trip seem unsuccessful, but after last weekend this is what we needed.

Currently driving home, can’t wait to sleep in my own bed!

school

After two years, I’ve finally reenrolled in school. I’ve taken online classes, but going and sitting in class is much harder.

Finally we are making obvious steps to better out future.

It’s only been two days and it is hard! In the long run it’ll be worth it.

It is also really nice to have more structure in my day